“What is a man without being chivalrous?” was a phrase that was almost as common as the air our colonial forefathers breathed. Unfortunately, like the polluted atmosphere we live in today, the sentence above has become tarnished. Chivalry was a characteristic that was essential in the transformation of a boy into a man. This was the foundation of feminist sentiments all across the globe. Deep down, patriarchal society spreads its inferno wings and relinquishes not only the unjustified practices but also the primary essence manhood. It replaces it with something lacking basic courtesy and respect for our better half. Although the recent events have elevated women’s voices in all areas of life are well-received and welcomed by everyone, I am most grateful for their efforts. However, a few wrong concepts and thoughts have led to these emotions taking a negative turn. It is common to believe that chivalrous men can be manipulated and public schools have produced a lot of fancy lads. These falsely motivated thoughts have made it difficult to distinguish between civilized society and uncivilized. It is not only about imitating the fakes, but also trying to emulate the original. These gestures are the foundation of our standards. Decency and chivalry have emitted a strong aura throughout history, from the Knights Templars to East India Company. When a man walks behind a woman, or is walking along the street, it’s rude to not open the door. These characteristics that were once a hallmark of groomed men are today taken as a gesture against women. A lady can run a company and be a member of the board. This does not require any special treatment for the men and is in my honest opinion true. It is just basic manners to open the door, offer water, hold her hand, and carry water. You don’t get anything more or less. These special privileges can be seen as more than a feeling of pleasure. We have blurred the boundaries between acceptable and unacceptable in our desire to improve and reconstruct our society. We are aiming for a society that is devoid of respect, gratitude, and consent so it doesn’t feel civilized. It is no longer necessary to distinguish between educated and uneducated men. Chivalry is a topic of hatred that has developed over the past decades. I’ve had a lot to argue with my Feminist friends about Chivalry. They argue that Chivalry threatens gender equality. Originated in medieval England, where women were expected to be submissive. They were expected to wear tight corsets, heavy dresses, and sturdy footwear. Simple tasks were usually performed by the other gender. Chivalry was at the time a masculine chauvinistic act to assert dominance and make women dependent on men for simple tasks like opening doors. Alas! It makes me wonder if chauffeurs are still needed in this 21st century era of ‘humankind’. Is it not them we trust with tasks like driving us around and opening doors? According to them, “small tasks” is what they mean. Every decent Indian household has at least one housekeeper to help with these “small tasks”. Two conclusions resulted from trying to see the starkly different picture these hypocrites are painting. Either they, or we, as the employees, are inferior and being controlled by them. Or, if you take a more rational approach, then our tasks and duties triumph over the trivial details of daily life. I am arguing exactly this. Instead of focusing on mundane details and arguing about them, we must work together to see a bigger picture and catch Moby Dick. My friends argue that they can live independently financially, emotionally, or physically. They don’t have to depend on men to pay for them. Chivalry is no longer necessary in this day and age, when women and men fight for equal rights. This makes women look submissive and dependent while also putting on additional responsibility for the men they did not sign up for. It is simply a way to keep women dependent on men and preserve patriarchy.
The flagbearers and models of true men for decades have been chivalrous, brave men. True gentleman is not only chivalrous towards women, but encourages others to be kind and gentle towards their better half. It provides a guideline to every boy for his whole life. Chivalry, for me, is a way to use my privilege while respecting and protecting women. But also allowing them to take their own decisions. Why should the car’s door gesture be considered a sign or dependence? It can be seen instead as a sign and encouragement to women, “that regardless of the outcome, my lady, I stand with you and support you,” Chivalry is simply a way to reinforce that idea. Through daily acts of support for all things done by women, we are able to accept it fully. Acceptance is not that difficult, right?
Even worse, I was called a coward by someone who said that I wasn’t willing to change. My resistance to change was deemed weak and moral. Change is the only constant. Although I fully agree with the statement that change is inevitable, it is important to recognize flaws in order to work towards improving them. Instead of ripping off everything and throwing it away, we should learn to accept the flaws and work together to fix them. My honest opinion is that cowards would just write it off. Here’s where I stand out. I support this tradition, but I also strive to improve it in line with 21st-century views. I will stand firm behind the principle that women shouldn’t be grateful for their gifts and that chivalry is a way to make it more practical in our day-to-day lives. As with all things, chivalry must adapt to the 21st-century views. Even though steam engines aren’t efficient in modern times, that doesn’t mean trains should be abandoned. We learn from our mistakes and improve upon them to create a better future. This is exactly what I stand for. Chivalry is a way to show women how much you appreciate them and the many things they do. If men are able to see the subtler and more meaningful gestures, Chivalry can be revived.
